


And They Were Roommates

by TransCharlieKelly



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Best Friends, Drabble Collection, Drinking Games, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, One Shot Collection, Pining, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Sloppy Makeouts, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:23:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransCharlieKelly/pseuds/TransCharlieKelly
Summary: A collection of short drabbles independent of each other about Mac and Dennis from It's Always Sunny. Written to help get me in the mood for a bigger fic I'm planning.





	1. Dennis and Mac Practice Kissing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sorority girl tells Mac his kissing SUCKS.

12:32 PM  
Saturday

"No dude, I'm telling you. Inebriated sorority girls are just regular girls with no filter."

Dennis rolled his eyes at Mac and continued unpacking his belongings in the room. He knew it'd be something of a handful living with his best friend, but had been desperate to move out of his home.

"Mac, I'm pretty sure she was just drunk. No other girl has ever complained."

Mac threw his arms down and sighed, melting onto his friend's bed.

"Dude, I don't know. Now all it'll be all I think about. Nothing turns a woman on less than a bad kisser, bro."

Dennis sighed and finished off one of his boxes. He began breaking it down, then set it aside and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't really know what to tell you, bud. With practice makes perfect."

"How am I supposed to-" Mac's eyes widened as he stared at Dennis. "Den."

A slight flush dusted Dennis' cheeks as he realized what his friend was insinuating. His head jerked into a shake automatically.

"Dennis, come on. It's just once. Nobody has to know."

\--

1:45 PM  
Saturday

Dennis' fingers were tangled in Mac's far too gelled hair, pulling him as close. Mac's own arms were wrapped around Dennis' waist, keeping their bodies tightly pressed to each other.

Dennis lightly bit Mac's bottom lip, now swollen from the kisses. It elicited a moan from him, his hips grinding into the other's without thought.

The two laid on the bed, Mac atop Dennis as they continued to deeply kiss.

There was a small push at the bottom of Dennis' shirt as Mac nudged it up some. He slid the palm of his hands over the man's bare skin.

Dennis had to pry his face away.

"Dude, you gay or something? Don't make this weird."


	2. Dennis and Dee Get Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis and Dee play a drinking game. Drunk logic ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V short, sowwy.
> 
> CW for vomit

"Ok," Dee's voice slurred. She paused a moment to take another shot before continuing on. "Fuck, marry, kill: Dennis, Charlie, and Artemis."

Dennis hummed and reached for another shot himself. "I'm not gay, Dee."

"So kill Mac-"

"No, no, no. I'd never kill Mac. Marry Mac, kill Charlie."

Dee tilted her head, perplexed at the answer. "But you're not gay? How does that-"

"You see, it isn't gay if it's just marriage, Dee."

The gears turned in Dee's drunken mind as she tried to determine why exactly that wasn't gay.

"I already live with Mac and spend all my time with him." Wagging a finger at his sister, he continued, "Ergo, we're practically married as is."

Dee burped and tried to catch herself from vomiting- not at the sentiment, but rather at the sheer volume of alcohol in her system.

"But I wouldn't fuck Artemis. Can I fuck Mac too?"

That was enough to push Dee over the edge and throw up, thankfully on the tile floor of the bar.

"Dee, you sloppy drunk. Clean yourself up."


	3. Dennis Loves Scones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac has a problem with his boyfriend and Dennis is in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by 'Peach Scone' by Hobo Johnson.

_We should go get a cup of coffee_  
_And I'll act friendly and I won't pull any stunts_  
_ But I'm a freaking stunt puller from birth_

Dennis smacked his lips after a bite of his scone. "These," he punctuated his word by wagging the baked good in his hand, "taste like an angel's cum."

Mac groaned to himself.

"Dude, really? I'm asking for help with my shit here and-"

"Mac, can I just say something? I love these scones."

Mac was ready to punch a hole in a wall. Trying to talk to Dennis about his own romantic endeavors was like trying to lead a cow to water (or whatever the phrase was- Mac didn't care). Maybe Dennis was only interested in women for sex, sure, but he had to have at least SOME insight into dating.

"Anyway, you were saying, Mac?"

_Finally._

"Johnson is kinda... Jealous?" He nervously laughed to his friend and scratched at the back of his neck. His eyes darted away from looking directly into Dennis'. "Says you and I spend too much time together? That's stupid, right? We don't spend too much time together, right?"

"Well Mac, there's one thing I know for sure." A smile tugged at the side of Mac's lips as he looked his best friend in the eyes once more. "I love... These scones."

Huffing, Mac stood up and walked out. He wouldn't stay mad long, Dennis knew. He wouldn't stay with Johnson much longer either. One after another Dennis would chase them away. He smiled as he took another bite of his scone.

_I love the thought of being with you,  
Or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone_


	4. Dennis Goes Out Drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis comes home drunk, Mac is forced to reevaluate his life.

Dennis staggered into the apartment. It wasn’t unusual for him to be plastered drunk, but usually Mac was as well. There had been an argument between them earlier, causing Dennis to leave in a huff. Apparently, he’d- unsurprisingly- gone out drinking to cool down. Mac watched from the couch as his roommate slash best friend closed the door before pressing his back against it and staring back at him. Hopefully he was as ready to forgive and forget as Mac was.

“I know you’re in love with me.”

It felt like Mac’s heart fell into his stomach as he processed what had been said to him. He feigned a perplexed look, trying his best not to consider if it were the truth or not. Sure, he had dreamed every now and again of Dennis kissing him and shit but that didn’t mean shit, right?

“If I tried to kiss you right now, you wouldn’t push me away.”

Mac’s mouth was dry as a desert. He tried not to think of it, not consider how his lips crushed against Dennis might feel. How warm their bodies would feel pressed to each other. His brain a mess, he didn’t know what the fuck to say.

Dennis took a wobbly step forward, getting closer. Mac swallowed and reminded himself to breath. He’d been holding his breath for God knows how long only to realize at that moment. Dennis was drunk, he had no idea what he was saying.

“Dude, you need to sleep,” Mac redirected his friend, hoping the subject would change. It didn’t.

“You’re in love with me. Everyone knows.”

Another step.

“It’s ok, I love you too.”

This couldn’t be Dennis. Dennis didn’t love anyone but himself. He didn’t care for anything but his looks. And beside that, he was out banging chicks all the time. The words burned Mac more than they should as he knew fully that they weren’t real. His heart felt torn.

“I bet you won’t even say anything when I’m sober.”

Mac pursed his lips and looked away solemnly. He had nothing to contribute. After a few moments, Dennis muttered about leaving to sleep, then headed to his room.

The next few days, Mac felt absolutely broken. His anger returned and while he refused all he could to think about what Dennis said, it was all that could occupy his mind. Mac suppressed his feelings about it all though, keeping it to himself.

It dawned on him all at once that Dennis was right by all accounts. No, he wouldn’t have stopped him. No, he wouldn’t bring the exchange up. It was all a sudden realization that Dennis was right, a sudden realization that occurred while Dennis left a conversation to pick up a woman. He’d never love her, he’d never drunkenly come home to her to confess feelings to her. But she’d be forward with him in a way Mac never was, never could be.

Mac felt broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if y'all noticed but I deleted a chapter and then added another before this one, so if you haven't read the last it's there.


	5. Mac Get Married (Not To Dennis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac isn't like Dennis and Dee, he actually wants to settle down.

Mac wasn’t like Dee or Dennis. He wasn’t the type to continue sleeping with random people until he died. He was sappy and wanted a happy ending. There never was an expectation things would be otherwise. Even when he swore up and down he was straight, he still ‘fell in love’ with women.

So, now that it was the day of his wedding- his gay wedding- nobody was surprised by the fact he was settling down. He promised this wouldn’t get in the way of the bar, their schemes, the friendships. He was right, it mostly didn’t. Mostly.

There weren’t many more texts from him checking in with Dennis. He no longer lived with his friend either. And though he continued the schemes, there was something distinctly _different_ about how he was when he did them. Dennis couldn’t put his finger on what was so wrong, but he knew something was up, something he didn’t like. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he hated it all.

Here Dennis was now, in a back room getting dressed. He checked his cuff links to make sure they were perfect before looking up and seeing Mac. His friend was clad in a white suit, fretting with his tie.

“Dude, lemme-“ Dennis sighed and closed the space between the two. Both his hands went to Mac’s tie, carefully wiggling it so that it was straight on him. Finishing up, he patted his friend’s chest as if to say _‘There, complete.’_

And then his hands stilled, and he looked into his friend’s eyes. Mac’s warm eyes stared back, begging. Dennis knew exactly what they wanted but knew he could never provide it. He was different than Mac, after all. As he pulled away, Mac’s eyes gave a look as though Dennis had killed his puppy or some shit. It nearly broke Dennis’ damn heart.

Music began to play in the chapel which meant it was show time. Dennis pursed his lips, attempting to smile, and flourished a wave in the direction of the door. Mac stalled another second, a small amount of hope still left within him. But Dennis didn’t so much as look at him, breaking all that was left. Nodding, Mac moved outside of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by 'It's Over Isn't It' from Steven Universe which is some next level cheesy shit.


	6. Dennis Has a Mental Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reminded of his failures, Dennis has a breakdown. Mac is there to help.

Water.

Mac needed water. It was the middle of the night and his mouth was dry. After instinctively reaching over beside his bed to grab his cup, he was greeted by the cup’s emptiness. Groaning, he rubbed his eyes and hoisted himself upward. He lumbered to the door and was greeted by a bright kitchen light. Again, the backs of his hand rubbed his eyes.

There was a faint sobbing coming from within the kitchen, an unmistakable sound. Mac cautiously made his way to it, stepping as lightly as possible. He found Dennis curled in a ball on the tile floor, face in his hands while he sobbed.

“Den?”

Dennis’ face jolted upward at lightening speed. There was panic and shame in his eyes as his lip quivered while he tried to rattle off some excuse that- of course- made no sense (thanks to the blubbering and sobs).

Mac placed his cup on the counter before slowly getting down on the floor beside Dennis. Their sides touched.

“Today was a big day, huh? That game show and everything.”

Dennis nodded.

“That buzzer really, ah, got to you?”

Hesitantly, Dennis nodded again.

“It sucks to be wrong about shit, dude. But you gotta let it go. Tomorrow is a different day, a better day. One where there’s no buzzer to worry about.”

Dennis simply sniffled. Mac wrapped an arm around his shoulder sympathetically and pulled him closer.

“For what it’s worth dude, I’m here. And I’m not leaving any time soon, okay?”

Dennis’ head collapsed onto Mac’s chest as he began to sob again. Instinctively, Mac moved his other hand to Dennis’ hair, which he began to run his fingers through. Dennis clutched at his shirt.

“Den,” Mac’s voice was as soft as it could be. He rocked them. “It’s going to be ok, dude. It’s all going to be alright.”

They stayed like that for some time. Even when Dennis had enough of his own tears, he stayed plastered to his friend’s embrace. Mac continued to hum and rock until he heard the other begin to snore. He smiled to himself and gently unwrapped Dennis from around himself so he could get up and entangle his arms around the man again to carry him to bed.

Dennis looked at peace, finally. A huge difference than what Mac had come across earlier. As he tucked the other into bed, he couldn’t help but press a small, soft kiss to the man’s forehead.

Finally, he got his cup of water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my wonderful fiancee who has stuck by my side these past few horrible days. Thanks for always being there for me.


	7. Mac Gives Dennis Gonorrhea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis tries to seduce a woman, Mac has big news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for illness/STI obviously

A pirated copy of It played on Mac and Dennis’ tv as Dennis and a woman he’d been able to seduce watched from the couch. He slowly moved his arm around her shoulders, which she instantly snuggled into. He smiled and cleared his _very sore_ throat. As a scary scene played, the woman jumped and squirmed all the more closer to Dennis. She smiled up at him after, her face closing in towards his.

The front door swung open, causing the woman to pry herself away from Dennis and stare in awe as Mac appeared.

“Bro, I have gonorrhea.” Mac announced in a very dire tone. The woman looked from Mac to Dennis and back again before jolting away from Dennis.

“Baby, no it’s not like that,” Dennis tried to sooth the woman while glaring at his roommate. He coughed. “We don’t- I’m not-“

“Den, you did suck my dick.”

There was a groan from Dennis. He’d been drunk. They’d both been drunk. It obviously meant nothing. Besides, you couldn’t get it just from a blowjob, right?

“Bro, you should get tested-“

“Look, I’m trying to fuck here, okay?”

The woman’s mouth looked like it was about to come unhinged as she stared at Dennis with great conviction. As she stood and walked toward the door, Dennis tried his best to stop her but failed. He stood by the couch, face in his hands, grumbling to himself.

“Listen dude, I just want you to be safe an-“

“Don’t _dude_ me, Mac. I was this close,” he pinched two of his fingers together, “to scoring. And you ruined it.”

“I mean… If we both have it…” Mac shrugged. Dennis groaned. “Listen, I’m trying to be a bro right now. You aren’t acting like one yourself and it’s making me super uncomfortable.”

“Whatever. I’m going to Planned Parenthood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those reading - Remember to get tested before and after every new partner!
> 
> To my roommate - Alright bitch, you owe me. Give me that Musk/Bezos fic now.


End file.
